Treasure your relations!!

Me and my wonderful hubby!!!

A thought stuck my mind as I was sitting with myself today…how hollow are the relationships around me!! Ok, this might come across as something abrupt and weird thing to write about, but it was true. We make countless relationships while journeying through life…parents, relatives, friends, best friends, school mates, college mates, travel mates, neighbors, colleagues…phew! Man is indeed a ‘Social Butterfly’!

But I’ve come to realize that, out of this swarm of people, there are just a handful of people who actually hold on for life. Now the question is how do we know who are the “Ones”? Well, there are no free lunches in life. As heard in many of the Hindi movies; ‘It may take a second for the realization, but in some cases, it may even take a lifetime!” It may take a lot of intentional efforts to do that.

Mary Tyler rightly puts it: “Sometimes you have to get to know someone really well to realize you're really strangers”

The thought made me envisage that I’ve been running to fast in life, leaving too many of my relationships behind. It isn’t my fault actually; the rat-race sort of life is the call of the hour. I’ve got to run fast to keep at pace with the world, which means changing the priorities and letting work take its toll on me. Damn, who asked me to take up further studies along with work!

But I’m glad that it isn’t too late that I’ve realized it. Actually it’s never too late. There’s still time…

One of my friends recently attended the Landmark Forum which is a 3 days workshop, talking about how to make your relationships better. Though she spent like a fortune on it, I never think that these kinda workshops are worth it. You don’t need an external force to tell you what you need to do in life and control your relations and how you think. It just comes from within, if it has

to. I’m not trying to propagate this idea but this is completely my perception.

Anyways, after this forum, she suddenly starts making a conscious effort to “Complete” all her relationships, whether it was tying the loose strings or to break it completely. But she made sure she cleared all that was hazy in the picture. Hmmm…quite an inspiration it was! It actually takes a lot to do it.

The contemplation of all these thoughts made me take a step: to tell all my friends how much they mean to me and how much I loved them! These are the people who had been with me through my thick and thin during my school and college years. I freaked out with them, cried with them, for them, shared the deepest dark secrets with them, and planned my future with them and did so much of all this. They were the ones from where my world started and ended too.

And suddenly one fine day I finish studies, take up a job and they take a back seat. I leave so many relations incomplete and walk off to be a part of this materialistic world. It isn't quite a great thing to do actually. Though the friendship always stays alive somewhere deep within, but it shouldn’t get deep enough to wither away with time. It always needs a reassurance once in a while to keep florid and blooming.

You should always dote on how lucky you are to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard!!! :)

Happy Living with Love!!!

I read it some where: “The mark of a successful man is one that has spent an entire day on the bank of a river without feeling guilty about it.”

I completely second the thought. The urban lifestyle today is so full of stress for any average individual, with their minds overextended and put in traction for various factors. People run as fast as they can, in the race of life, to over take their peers. But in this quest to win, that they end up losing their peace of mind, their family bonds, their social life and things like this that ‘money can’t buy’-as MasterCard puts it. :)

So here’s a conscious effort to put together a few things that you could follow to stay happy. Not that I am a pro at it, but these things work for me. So thought of sharing it: it may work for you as well :)

DON’T carry work home: Its very important to give due importance to each of the elements in your life. You work needs you, but so does your family, your love, your friends, your health, your society. Each of them should get its due, without any bias, to stay satiated.

Child Therapy: For me, its one of the most integral things to follow. You need to be matured and balanced, but sometimes is good to just let out the child in you. Remember the games we used to play when we were young? Get into that mode and do stuff like clay modeling, enjoy the swings in your nearby park, make a doll house, play monopoly, decorate a Christmas tree or any such thing. This really helps you De stress yourself.

Meditate/ Work Out: it’s a universally accepted fact that any sort of meditation helps you calm yourself and put your mind at ease.You can resort to yoga or any other breathing exercises. Also, I’m not to sure how many people are aware of it, but when we run on a treadmill, our body secretes ‘endorphins’ or the ‘happy hormones’. That’s the reason why you feel so happy and content after a good run on this machine.

Holiday: Take a break from work for a couple of days, choose a destination and hit it with your love, friends and family. Try to let go of your ‘schedules’ and your ‘diets’ and your other ‘dos’ and ‘donts’ you otherwise follow, while your are away. Also, don’t forget to keep yourself away from your emails and official phone calls. Taking some time off really helps.

Gleeful Company: Try to spend most of your time, being around people who are happy and high spirited. The company that you stay in, reflects on your mood and temperament. You are more likely to feel lively and pleasant, when you be around pleasant, bustling people as opposed to being around perennial whiners.

Pursue a Hobby: Remember, while in school, our summer vacations would give us time to join some hobby classes, learning new things? It may not be as easy a thing to do in today’s fast paced life, but one can always hunt for some weekend/ evening courses. Its never too late to learn a new instrument, a new dance form, exercise regime or try some new recipes in the kitchen.

Breaking Inhibitions: A lot of times, we tend to let of of things that we really want to do, just coz we are worried about how the people around us would react. We are more bothered about maintaining an image in the eyes of the society. But at times its alright to ‘go with the flow’ and just do it. If you want to speak to a friend, who you had fought with months ago, don’t think twice. Just pick up the phone and call. Don’t let you ego stop you from it. Leave your car behind, pick up a bicycle to fetch stuff from the market. Do anything that makes you happy.

“Trust that little voice in your head that says "Wouldn't it be interesting if….” ; And then do it.”

Pleasure in the little things in life: Watching the train, getting drenched in the rain, writing stuff on a balloon and letting it go in the air, having an orange bar, imli, chuski on a street side, watching the sunrise/ sunset, messing up my hand and face while eating a chocolate…these are some of the little things in life, that can cheer me up at any given point in time. Everyone has his/her own list like this. Make yours and follow it.

Follow your heart: Thinking is brain’s core job indeed, but let the heart take over sometimes. Do what you feel like doing, without thinking too much about what may happen as a result of it. Don’t miss out on opportunities coz of your dilemmas. I want to have a chocolate cake, grab a bite. You can increase your daily physical activities a bit to compensate. You want to confess your feelings for a person, just do it. At the max, your feelings would be turned down. But that’s alright. Its still worth it. At least you wont have any regrets when you wake up tomorrow morning.

You don’t have to follow these things all the time. But they can always be resorted to, when you are down and low. They may act as immediate energy boosters for you.

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Champagne in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride!!

Damsel in Dress or Distress

After studying English literature for 3 years, and staying with my dearest girl pals, I had become a loyal preacher of Feminism and Women Liberation. The books I read, the lectures I attended, the teachers I heard and all the brainstorming sessions had all made me look beyond the beliefs which saw women as delicate and venerable part of the society.

We are the women of 21st century, for God’s sake! We are fortunate enough to be born in a democratic and a progressive country, which has given its most powerful position of a President to a woman. Our parents are educated, they’ve sent us to good schools, and we stay around a bunch of well informed people. So things like women empowerment makes more sense to us. Talking of women liberation, we have so many inspirational stories floating. People have a huge amount of content to talk on this subject.

Why go far, I personally, have been propagating it myself. I’ve always stood up against any sexist statements or gender discrimination happening around me. So far, I’ve gone quite strong on the feminist ideas and the belief that nothing can curtail our freedom to act for ourselves.

But the dream of men and women as equal partners in progress is yet to be fully realized I guess. When I look around, I see that people still raise eye brows when a girl across the age of 30 and is not married yet. Or when she decides to enjoy her life before she plans a baby. She still suffers at work in terms of promotions or grabbing responsible positions because she may get married and go away, or plan her family and take a maternity leave. Parents are still apprehensive of letting their daughters move out and make their own living. Late nights/ Night outs are still a taboo in a lot of households. Rape/ Molestation cases are on an ever increasing rate. There are cases registered on an everyday basis for Domestic Abuse/ Violence against women.

What an anti- thesis, isn’t it?

Witnessing cases like this makes me realize that there is still a lot more left. Women liberation in the real sense of the word is still a far fetched dream. Real life is way more than the hi-fi talks we indulge into. The status of a woman in the society still stands questionable, it seems.

But nevertheless, I’m optimistic. The change is gradual for sure and may be a little slow. But it is happening at least. Does it not give us a reason enough to rejoice? :)